Things have changed... a lot.

So I'm sorry I haven't wrote on here in a long time. Honestly, I feel like a totally different person then the last time I wrote on here. Last time I wrote I still had somewhat control over my bping but I don't AT ALL anymore. I haven't had a day that I haven't at least bp'd once in the past 2 months. If anyone thinks bulimia will solve their problems, HUG THE ONES WHO LOVE YOU BEFORE YOU LOSE THEM FOREVER TO BULIMIA. I haven't gone out on the weekends at all in months, I will talk to my friends at school pretending I'm happy and they soak it up. I've lost about 20 pounds in 1 1/2 months, I weigh 109 pounds now and all anybody has to say about it is "You look good!" or they don't even notice, which makes me want to lose even more. I'm still debating if this is a good or bad thing that people around me are so stupid and unobservant, or maybe I'm just looking at it all wrong, maybe they do know what's going on but they just don't care. Oh well, either way no one knows and that's the only important thing cause I can still purge. I'm out of control, but I'm still in control.
-Alaska

P.S.- I also went vegan like a month ago, except I have occasionally b/p'd on non-vegan things. Yay for being hypocritical.