Wow.

Hey it's been a long time.. like a really long time. So I guess this is when I fill you in with my recent diet and shit like that. Well,, there really isn't much to say. In the beginning of July I went on this crazy quest to get under 120 pounds before I went on the cruise in mid July. I actually almost succeeded, I got down to 122 which was great considering I was inching closer and closer to 130 which is honestly a pretty huge fear of mine to hit. Anyway I went on the cruise and, wow. Well actually it's more of a "woah". Like after you get of a roller coaster you don't say "wow", you say "woah" thinking of what the hell just happened and did you just do that. Yeah that sums up the cruise pretty well, did I really do what I did? I guess I'm buttering it up to be a huge deal, but it sort of is for me, when I look back at that cruise I don't picture it through my eyes I see myself like I'm watching a movie. Looking back I don't regret anything though I mean I have had 2 "meaningful" relationships on a cruise before and they never go past the cruise no matter how much you both want it to. Sure it's not the best to make-out drunk with a 19 year old douche but hey atleast I don't get my hopes up about anything happening beyond the cruise. Yeah there's a lot of interesting stories that happened on that cruise but I'd rather not go into that right now.(: Awkward smileyface. Anyway after the cruise I weighed myself and I got down to 118. Yes I do not shit you, 118! But then I ate total shit after I got back, but I think I'm still in the lower 120's. I'm honestly pretty content with my weight right now, I think I'm just going to try to do a healthy diet. Which is pretty smart cause soccer season is here, our first game is in 2 weeks! I have barely gone to any of the summer practices and when I do I didn't try so it will be surprising if I make Varsity. I actually wanted to quit soccer this year but I still have to have another PE credit and my sister is still there and she is my ride like everywhere, she graduates this year though. I already decided I'm quitting after this year, I'm just over it. School starts this Tuesday I guess I'm excited for it to start again, I'm just not ready for it.

-Alaska

Long time no type.

Wow it has been awhile since I have posted anything, but lucky for you, you haven't missed anything important. School is out for the summer now and there is a week until summer off season starts so I want to take advantage of this upcoming week as much as possible by doing something that is 10 times as hard to do while soccer starts; liquid diet. Starting tomorrow I will be drinking 1 gallon of water and 3 cups of green tea (along with my multi-vitamin). I plan to do this for at least 3 days, I would love it though if I lasted all week though.(:
Oh and this is sort of off topic but the only meat I eat now is fish. I haven't eaten mammals since the summer of 2007 ( about 3 years), and now I haven't eaten any bird in 2 months now. The longest I have ever gone without eating bird is like 4 months but now I am determined to not eat it for good. I hate when dumb people in my town say " Oh, so your a vegetarian?". No, I'm obviously not if I still eat some form of meat! In the long run I do want to evolve into a vegetarian, possibly even vegan, but I don't have the willpower to just stop eating all forms of animal over night. I honestly look up to vegans and vegetarians so much because they do hold that willpower.
So anyway I will write on this blog during this new diet I'm doing because in a way this blog keeps me focused on my goal. It feels like sometimes this is the only place I can come where I have never lost myself. Tomorrow morning maybe I will rake up the courage to weigh myself, I haven't stepped on the scale since after my big liquid diet during Christmas Break. My guess is is that I weigh near 125, but I guess we will hopefully see tomorrow.

-Alaska

Aunt flow's visit.

It is officially Wednesday.
What's so grand about Wednesday?
It's hump day and it isn't a very special day.
When one thinks of "starting over" they usually say "I'll start on Monday, or on the weekend." What is the difference between those days that make it easier for one to start over, rather than grand Wednesday? On Wednesday one feels less obligated to start over, therefore making it easier.

I have to say my week hadn't been the greatest when it was officially Sunday.
I awoke to Aunt Flow.
Now here is my relationship with aunt flow; She visits me every 4 months when she usually visits everyone else every month. I have known Aunt Flow for 5 years now, yet she is still irregular with her visits. But when she arrives, she makes sure I know she's here!
The cramps have been unbearable.

To make it worse once I finally looked in the mirror that morning I had a cold sore. Cold sores aren't that bad but I hate when people just stare at your lip while your talking to them. Don't they know it's not polite to stare and judge people? Herpes simplex virus is present in 80% of the population. People can have it when they are a child, and just haven't broken out ever.
Just because I have a bump on my lip doesn't mean I was smacking a mack all damn weekend!

Anyway soccer has started again, again.This time though practices are only on Saturday and Sunday afternoons to help prep us for the upcoming soccer tournaments (about 5 tournaments in all). Our head coach cannot coach us because it would be against regulations if she did. Therefore the co-coach and I guess you could call the other one the co-co-coach will be coaching us. Neither one knows what they're are talking about but I could careless about what they have to say so I guess you can say it all works out.

I started going to the gym again on Monday finally(I hadn't gone since the week of finals) but didn't go "yesterday" due to obsessive homework, in fact that is why I am up right now trying to finish it. But my (procrastinating) conscious insisted for me to update my blog. So here I am finally, 2 weeks after school started, just staying true to my word like I always do.hehe

So the update on my diet is that I FAIL miserably. 2 or 3 days into school did it for me and I started eating normal. Well over 2 weeks later I am going to ride the roller coaster again. btw, my mom got a scale and I weighed myself, I weighed 119 pounds when I was still on that soup diet. Who knows how much I gained since I started eating normal.

-Alaska

Eat, drink and be scary.

We of course lost our home state playoff game.
But the score was only 3-0, which I consider a victory because they were ranked number 5 in the state and we are ranked only number 12.
On the other hand though I'm pretty glad it's all over.
Now I can focus on more important things.

So as you know yesterday was Halloween.
Me and some close friends watched all the saw movies Friday and Saturday morning.
Then we watched saw 6 at the movies at about 5 on Halloween.
Then we went trick or treating to other friends houses, went to the haunted house, and the corn maze.
The corn maze was by far the best part.
There was alot of people there from little towns that are about 20 miles from my town.
One of these people were supposed to be a scarer but instead he sort of walked with me through the maze.;)
Overall I had a fantastic Halloween.

I look forward to finally restricting calories.
I'm starting right away, as in tomorrow.haha:)

-Alaska

Olé, Olé, Olé!

District Champs!
We won the game 5 to 1.
It was a way easier game then what I had expected.
This is the 5th year in a row our school took district.:)
Since we took district we will be going to a state playoff game.
We find out who we will be playing sometime this weekend.
I really hope it's not a home game, I love away games.

To update on my diet I can't really restrict while during a harsh soccer season.
I get really dizzy.
So as of right now I'm just trying to eat healthy.
Then when soccer season is finally over I will start restricting.

-Alaska

Rain rain go away.

So yesterday our game got canceled.
If you guess because of rain your a genius.
We ended up staying at the fields until 7.
We got in the town at 4.
FML.

But anyway we are rescheduled to play on Friday.
Don't get me wrong soccer season is fun but I'm just pooped from it.
&& today I found out that we will just lift weights in the weight room and run sometimes after soccer season is over (only during that last period though:)).
Anything is better then season practice.

I'm starting to restrict calories tomorrow, 1,000 per day.
This is sort of a pre-diet thing I do.
I will probably restrict to 1,000 for a week.
From there I was thinking of giving the 2468 diet another try.
Last time I went on it though I did loose weight but I didn't look any thinner.
& some of my friends started getting concerned.
I don't really know why though.
So what if their chubby friend went on a diet to loose a few lbs?

-Alaska

Le ballon rouge.

Today was a pretty good day.
School went by pretty quick, I have loads of homework though.

I love how our French sub doesn't know anything.
Our original French teacher got deported and still hasn't gotten her visa issues sorted out.
It is already past the 1st 9 weeks.
Anyway today she was ranting on how she had a film she had rented for our class thinking there were French subtitles, there wasn't.
She finally puts the film on and what film was it you may ask?
The Red Balloon.
Wow I just love my teachers.

Tomorrow may be our last game for soccer.
If we win we take district and go to state playoffs.
If we loose we still may go to playoffs, but probably not because our record isn't the greatest.
Playoffs mean about another 2 weeks for practice.
But we still might have practice for the end of the semester regardless.
You see soccer is a class, it's my last period.
We get out early from school everyday to go to the fields to practice.
Our season may be over but we will still have it as a class until the end of the semester.

I've been thinking about going on a cleanse when soccer season comes to a close.
I'm tired of feeling lethargic and fat.

-Alaska

Beginning.

I feel like I'm at a turning point in my life & important things should always be documented.
Therefore, I will try to write on this everyday even though I know no one will really read it.
I don't see this as a blog but rather a type of diary, but better because:
1. I can't loose my computer.
2. Nosy family members can't read it.
3. If they do read it they could never trace it back to myself.
I know it's pretty lame to just pour out all my feelings onto a computer blog but I guess I'm pretty desperate because my mind is an utter wreck right now.

I guess I should get the basics of myself out of the way.

I'm 14, but I've been told I look and act a load older.
I hate it when people say things like that, but it's true.

I live in a small town.
Well actually we're technically a city now.

I'm a freshman, (not a fr$hman).
I'm actually supposed to be in 8th grade though.

I have some pretty great friends, I'm an honors student, and I'm pretty much the only freshman who's on the varsity soccer team. Everything seems pretty fucking fantastic, right?
Wrong.

-Alaska